


What Now?

by byesweetheart (ConstantComment)



Series: Follower Ficlet Fests [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Gold Medal Winners, Graduation, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nationals, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Sad Hinata Shouyou, celebrating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 16:23:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11130399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantComment/pseuds/byesweetheart
Summary: What happens when all you've been thinking about is winning gold at Nationals? What happens next?





	What Now?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Esselle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/gifts).



> Seventh 1k FOLLOW FICLET FEST ficlet (FFFf) for esselle!!!! Thanks for prompting this, lovely! You know how I love that physical intimacy. ;D I’ve had this scenario rattling around my head for a little bit, so I got a bit rambly? Maybe? Minor warning for depictions of what could be interpreted as an anxiety attack, upset Hinata :< but bonus protective Kags as requested! <3 <3 <3

When they win, it’s sort of a given that everyone cries. Even if it’s just a little bit. (Tsukishima even gets teary, which is unheard of because he’s very rarely emotional in any direction.) It’s sports – it’s volleyball! And at Nationals, where everyone thinks “it’s sports,” in the inexplicably matter-of-fact way that Kageyama does, crying after a win or a loss is to be expected. 

Everyone came today for the final match with Inarizaki. The Karasuno ‘cheering squad,’ as Coach Ukai has dubbed them, came for the last day. Most of the guys’ parents – including Kageyama’s, which has never happened since his mom is out of the country so much – have been here for the whole last leg of the tournament. There’s even a Karasuno Volleyball Club alumni reunion happening in the stands. Kageyama spotted them yesterday when they had four more games to win: Noya, Tanaka, Suga and Daichi, Asahi, Coach Ukai’s friends, everyone except for Ennoshita, who’s at university in Germany but has probably been streaming it… if that’s a thing. 

 Seeing them had given the whole team an extra boost in their momentum, hearts beating fast because everyone was here. Kageyama was never that close with his senpais when they were still at Karasuno, but it felt like something knocked into place on the court after he saw them. After they won, when Kageyama last looked into the crowd, he was pretty sure he spotted Tanaka weeping, Daichi holding his head in disbelief, the other guys screaming and jumping in the stands. 

Kageyama, though, he can’t stop smiling. He’s been crying too, but the smiling is starting to ache more than the burn on his cheeks from the salty tears. It’s reached a weird, floaty point _past_ exhilaration. He does okay through shaking hands with the losing team and bowing to the stands, through the final talk with Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei, and only cries a little during the medal ceremony. Everything is fine, perfect, until he looks down the row of players at Hinata. 

Hinata is 18 now. A little taller and a lot more muscular than he was when he first stepped into a real gym… more experienced, and a lot more skilled. He’s #10, Karasuno’s ace, and he’s won Nationals with Kageyama. He’s a little giant, _the_ little giant, like he wanted. 

But there’s something in his eyes when he goes through the ceremonies with the team, when he accepts his medal, that Kageyama can’t figure out. He’s not vibrating with happiness to the point of annoyance, like he should be. Like he’s supposed to.

Things start to make more sense when they leave the court for the last time, and Hinata starts to cry for real. The others are too amped up to notice as they walk down the hall to the locker rooms, but Kageyama notices as Hinata’s tears fall quickly and he gasps for breath, and then his legs give out. 

Kageyama shoves some younger guys out of the way to get to him where he kneels on the ground and gulps out awful noises through his scrunched up face. 

“What’s up with Hinata-san?” someone asks loudly, and then everyone’s crowding around. 

“He’s hyperventilating, I think,” Yamaguchi adds. “Are you okay, Shouyou?”

Kageyama runs a hand over Hinata’s sweaty hair when he reaches him and tries to think of what to do. He stares helplessly at Hinata’s stricken face, heart speeding. 

“I can’t—” Hinata gasps. “I—it’s o- _over_ —I—” He clutches at his stomach, tugs on the heavy gold medal around his neck, and seems to grow smaller as sneakers squeak on the linoleum around them, the whole team towering over them in confusion. 

Kageyama glares up at them, yells, “Let him breathe!” 

“Let’s get to the showers, boys,” Takeda-sensei says somewhere to the left. Kageyama clenches his jaw as Hinata nearly gags through another wave of crying. “Hinata needs some time.” 

Kageyama reaches for Hinata, cups his shoulder and tries to be the sort of person who’s good at consoling people, passes his hand across his back. Once the hallway is fairly empty, Kageyama scoots closer in his crouch, and takes Hinata’s elbow. “C’mon, dumbass,” he says softly. “I’ll help you. Keep breathing.” 

He waits until Hinata is able to take more than one gulp of air between fits. His own stomach clenches in sympathy. He doesn’t know how to _fix_ it, because even though Hinata’s chest stops rising and falling so rapidly, fat tears are still streaming down his face. 

“Please,” Kageyama says. “Let’s get showered. You’ll feel loads better.” He tries to stand but Hinata’s hand shoots out and grabs at his arm, bitten-red fingernails biting into his skin. 

“Don’t—” Hinata starts. 

Kageyama nods quickly. “I’m not leaving you. You’re coming with me,” he says. He pulls Hinata up on his wobbly legs and leads him slowly to the locker rooms.

Kageyama isn’t sure whether it’s good or bad that he can’t tell if Hinata cries the whole time in the shower. He stays close, picking the faucet next to Kageyama, and scrubbing a little less efficiently than he could, but at least he’s not catatonic. Kageyama watches him throughout, and then realizes what he’s doing, and then stares at the ceiling for the rest of the time hoping his face isn’t too red. Even after he’s all done, he waits under the spray until Hinata’s water shuts off. 

Another wave hits when they’re getting dressed. Thankfully, the rest of the team are probably out with their families and friends, so no one’s asking stupid questions, but that means no one’s asking stupid questions so Kageyama can’t benefit from the answers. 

He dresses and helps Hinata pack his stuff, and since this round of crying doesn’t seem to be debilitating, he slings Hinata’s bag over his shoulder and grabs Hinata’s hand. Thankfully, Hinata doesn’t say a thing, doesn’t even yank his fingers away, just leans closer—almost heavily—into Kageyama’s space as they walk into the hallway. 

“Do you wanna see the senpais?” Kageyama asks quietly. Quiet seems like the right thing to do. 

Hinata sniffs and wipes at his face with his palm. “Okay,” he rasps. His eyes flicker up to Kageyama’s, glassy and brown, and then he rolls his shoulders as his gaze falls away. In that moment, he’s like he was when they first met, a little ball of light, unsure but determined and warm and bright. 

“Awww, Shou-chan!” Suga coos when the alumni spot them, and then obviously spot Hinata’s tear-raw, puffy eyes. Kageyama very deliberately does not let go of his hand. 

Which means he gets enveloped into a slow, squeezing group hug with all the guys, and Hinata smushed against his chest. He can’t help but pass another hand through Hinata’s damp hair before the hug untangles. Hinata cries a little more, but this time, Tanaka makes him laugh (and therefore no one catches Kageyama wiping at his own eyes for the trillionth time today when Daichi and Asahi recount the final minutes with relish and pride in their voices). And if Hinata’s smiling even a little, _laughing_ even, things are improving. 

Kageyama hugs his parents before they have to catch the train home, but makes sure he’s back in Hinata’s periphery quickly. He still has his bag, after all.

When Hinata sees him, he brightens a little, quietly, biting his lip. “Can I sit with you on the bus?” he asks in a small voice as their senpais continue to reminisce. 

“Yeah,” Kageyama rushes out. He doesn’t give Hinata’s bag back. “Yeah.” 

By the time they say goodbye and the whole team piles onto the charter bus for the long ride home, Kageyama has nearly convinced himself everything is back to normal (if normal involved a completely silent Hinata Shouyou, which it doesn’t… but it doesn’t involve hysterically crying Hinata Shouyou either, so). They pull out of the gym parking lot for the last time, and Kageyama watches the city lights blink by as the bus rolls through the streets and eventually onto the highway toward home. 

They make it about ten, horribly silent minutes into the bus ride, sitting ramrod straight beside each other before Hinata says, “Kageyama—” and Kageyama says, “Yeah, c’mere,” without really knowing what Hinata wants but hoping… He doesn’t know what to say to make anything better; he’s always been better _doing_ than saying… 

Hinata squeezes in close, pressing his face into Kageyama’s chest, and slowly Kageyama can feel his t-shirt go a little damp. Kageyama gives up. He gives up on caring what anyone else will have to say about them and pulls him into his lap. Hinata clutches at his t-shirt as Kageyama arranges them as comfortably as he can and Kageyama _does not_ think about how often he’s wanted something like this, to be close to him. 

“Sorry,” Hinata hitches out once Kageyama has settled. “I don’t know why I can’t stop.” 

“S’okay.” Kageyama looks down at Hinata’s orange head. He pulls his water bottle from his bag smashed under their seat and rests it on Hinata’s lap. “Drink,” he commands. 

Hinata gives him a tired, grateful smile and unstops the top with slow fingers.

“What now?” Hinata whispers after a while, when he’s tucked himself under Kageyama’s chin after finishing off the bottle. “I—what do I do now that it’s over?” 

Kageyama squeezes his arm around Hinata’s back. Flexes his other hand before resting it over Hinata’s track pants on his knee. 

“Uhm,” he starts. “You—we go to university and go to Nationals there, too. You can go anywhere you want with the scholarships you’ve been offered. Did you choose one?” 

Hinata doesn’t respond immediately. Kageyama isn’t sure if he’s all that aware he’s tracing the embroidered Karasuno logo on Kageyama’s chest. “I haven’t been thinking about anything but getting this medal,” he admits eventually, tapping on the shiny disk hanging from the red and white ribbon around his neck. “Have you decided?” 

Kageyama shakes his head. 

Hinata takes a deep breath. “Would—would you want to… look at all our offers and compare and stuff?” 

“Okay.” Kageyama’s hand closes into a fist on Hinata’s knee. “See where we overlap,” he adds tentatively. 

Hinata shudders out a sigh, tucks his arm all the way around Kageyama’s ribcage until he’s hugging Kageyama back. “Yeah,” he says, breathless. Kageyama can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Thanks,” Hinata says much later, when their heartbeats have quieted and he has finally, finally calmed down. Kageyama looks down at his team mate, his ace, his… they’ve said they’re partners before. Hinata looks better, he can tell there’s more color to his face even in the dark of the bus. He’s slowly starting to get back that glow he always has. 

Kageyama swallows. “We keep going, okay?” he says. “We’re not done.”  

Hinata nods, tugs on Kageyama’s medal, bites his lip. Kageyama tries not to look away from Hinata, even though the way he’s staring up at him is making him nervous. “We keep going,” Hinata echoes after a moment. His gaze seems to flick down to Kageyama’s mouth before he looks away completely, letting out a small laugh and brushing a hand through his hair. They listen to the quiet murmur of the rest of the team talking or snoring or rustling around on the bus for a moment, and then he looks back cheeks red and eyes smiling.

Kageyama secures his arms around Hinata’s waist and holds on.

**Author's Note:**

> T_____T
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments & kudos are appreciated. <3 Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://byesweetheart.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/byesweetheart_)!


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